The Practice That Will Change Your Coaching More Than Any Clinic.

Issue 161- Jason Payne, CMPC.

Ten years from today, you are sitting at your desk when an email arrives from an athlete. Their name is in your inbox for the first time in a decade.

What would you want this email to say?
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I have received a few of these over the years. Most have shared where life has taken them and how their time in our program helped shape their lives. They are wonderful to read.
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A few of them have been harder to read. I can think of two in particular. One is from a senior from my first season as head coach. His season didn't go well, and he left the program midseason. He harbours hard feelings 25 years later.

The second is from a player who finished his time in our program but didn't play very much. It soured his relationship with his teammates, the coaching staff, and the sport. 15 years later, he is bitter and resentful.

These aren't so easy to read. In both cases, I wouldn't change how I handled those situations at that point in my coaching journey. Would I deal with them differently today? Probably, I am not the same coach I was then.

All I can do now is to acknowledge how they feel and hope that their lives are going well.

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​I like to think of these emails as an opportunity sent from the future to help the athletes you coach now. They contain instructions for what you need to be building right now.

I would have referenced Doc Brown arriving in the time travel Delorean with instructions on how to change your program from the future, but Back to the Future is 40 years old, and I don't want to know how many of you are younger than the movie.

And people say AI is bad; I didn't even have to specify that the coach should be wearing a 1/4 zip.

Whether the email is a powerful thank you or a startling wake-up call to ensure you have evolved, it is an opportunity for reflection. Your actions today are shaping what that email will contain a decade from now.

But it relies entirely on your former players reaching out.

There is another way to encourage this kind of reflection.

In the workbook that supports Aligned: The Inside Out Path to Coaching Excellence, I included an exercise to help you ensure your actions are aligned with what you want your athletes to take away from their time in your program.

It looks like this.

Pick one specific athlete on your current roster. Not the kid who is all in and lives your program's standards. That one is easy. Or the athlete you are struggling the most with, as that triggers regret. Pick the athlete who is currently on the fence. Whose experience could still go either way. Take some time and Write the letter that they will be sending you in 15 or 20 years.

The letter is a map that you can read backward. If you can name what you want them to say in a decade, you can name what you have to be doing in your next practice.

What impact do you want to have on your athletes' lives?

Most coaches aren't planning their season with this question in mind. It might be the most important question you can ask.

This is why most coaches drift. Not from lack of effort. Because they haven't named their desired destination.

Give yourself ten minutes. Write a letter from them to you, ten years from now, as if it was already sitting in your inbox.

Three guidelines.

First. Do not write about the wins. Nobody writes a ten-years-later letter about a conference semifinal. They write about what they learned about themselves. What stayed with them when the sport ended. The specific moment with you they still think about that has nothing to do with basketball.

Second. Be specific. Not "you taught me discipline." The exact thing you did. The exact moment. The exact lesson. Vague letters are easy to write and tell you nothing. Specific letters are harder and reveal everything.

Third. Write what you want them to say, not what you think they would currently write. The whole point of the exercise is to name the aspiration. The gap between what you want and what they would currently write is where the work is.

The audit.

Read the letter back. Then ask one question.

If this email arrived in my inbox tomorrow, would it be true?

Three possible answers.

Yes. The coach you have been for this athlete has already given them what the letter describes. You are on target. Keep going.

Partially. Some of what you wrote is true. Some is aspirational. Mark what is not yet true. That is what you can address in the time you have left with that athlete.

No. The letter you want to receive and your actions are currently not aligned. This is useful data. The question is not what is wrong with the athlete. The question is what has to change in how you are coaching them.

One athlete. One specific commitment.

Do not try to fix everything the letter revealed. Also recognize you are likely to be harder on yourself than anyone else will be. Pick the single most important thing from the letter that is not yet true. Make that your coaching focus with this specific athlete for the next thirty days.

If the letter said they learned to trust themselves, your coaching focus is building that capacity to trust this month. Specific moments designed to build that ability.

If it said you were the first adult to tell them they were a leader, your coaching focus is finding one moment this month to name a specific leadership trait you see in them, out loud, in front of their teammates.

If the letter explored how you taught them it was okay to fail honestly, your coaching focus is how you respond to their next mistake. Not just this athlete's. All of them. Because they are all watching.

Lastly, pressure test it. Talk with the athlete you have in mind. Discuss what came up when you were intentionally thinking about their development (perhaps easier to explain than the exercise itself).

What do you see in them now that they might not recognize in the moment?

The letter from your athletes that arrives in the future is being drafted by your actions and their experiences in the present.

Every practice, game, and conversation shapes it.

If you want it to be a positive experience in 5, 10, 15, or even 20 years, keep the big picture at the forefront of your decisions.

Make sure your actions are aligned with what you want them to take away from their time with you.

Write the letter you want to receive down the road. Then go coach the next practice to make it a reality.

— Jason

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P.S. Twelve days until ALIGNED: The Inside-Out Path to Coaching Excellence releases on Amazon on Tuesday, October 27. The proof copy arrived this week. It was very surreal to physically hold a copy of the book. I am extremely proud of how it turned out and am excited to share it with coaches.

Kindle is pre-orderable now. The paperback is not available until release day on the 27th.

A bonus for those who purchase the book in the first week. Everyone who buys the book on October 27 and emails me a receipt or a screenshot by midnight on November 4th will receive a PDF of the companion workbook I have been building. It takes you past the surface level. Ninety pages of exercises to help you take the ideas in the book and become a more aligned coach.

I would also be grateful for your thoughts in the form of an Amazon review. Their algorithm rewards reviews and would help me share the book with coaches well beyond my list.

One other thing you can do, if this newsletter has helped you on your coaching journey. Please forward it to one coach you know. One forward from a trusted source is worth more than any paid ad I could run in this window.

-Jason
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P.P.S. Two quick things.

The Aligned Coach Scorecard is at 109 coaches now. The diagnostic maps the same four cornerstones this formula sits inside.

Kindle pre-order for ALIGNED: The Inside Out Path to Coaching Excellence is live on Amazon.

Enjoy your week.